CELEBRATING FAMILY

Our week-long stay in a charming mountaintop cabin in Dahlonega, GA, was an unforgettable celebration of life, love, and family.

Ray and I arrived at the cabin on Friday afternoon and were thrilled to see that it looked just as amazing as it had in the pictures!.

Our son Nick and his beautiful fiancée Alison arrived at the cabin on Saturday evening, and we were thrilled to see them! They had driven down from Boston, spent a couple of days visiting Alison's brother and his family in North Carolina, and then headed to Georgia to visit us.

Spending time with the newly engaged couple and celebrating their engagement was an absolute pleasure. We are eagerly looking forward to welcoming Alison as an official member of our family! We love her and are thrilled that she and our son have found each other.

Look at that gorgeous couple! And that ring!

Having Conor with us for a few days at the cabin was great. Conor lives, works, and attends college near Dahlonega, but we don't get to see him as much as we would like due to his busy schedule.

My cutie-Conor! He's just so grown up now!

We were so happy that our son Robert and his beautiful wife Jennifer could join us on Sunday! As Robert frequently travels for work, we weren't sure if they would be able to make it, but we were thrilled that they did! We had a fantastic time together, laughing, hugging, and indulging in delicious Mexican cuisine.

Jen, Robert, Nick, Alison, Pam, Ray, Conor

Alison, Jen, Pam

The happy couple!

Nacho, Nacho Man!

We laughed so much while playing Scattergories! We may have drank a bit also! LOL

Our adorable visitor!

We had a wonderful time with Nick and Alison, and it was hard to say goodbye to them when they left on Wednesday. They went to visit one of Alison's friends and her family in Atlanta before heading back to New England on Friday.

Sadly, we have not been able to see our family nearly often enough over the past few years due to Covid and my compromised immune system, and it was such a blessing to spend time with Nick, Alison, Conor, Robert, and Jen!

OUR NEXT FAMILY ADVENTURE

We are so excited that we will get to spend five days with our daughter Alex next week! I can't wait to give her a big hug! Although we wish she could have joined us in Dahlonega, we are thrilled to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with her next week! Photos to come!!

October-Breast Cancer Awareness and Diagnosis

October 3, 2016, was a beautiful, bright, sunny fall day. It was also the day I had an appointment with Dr. Quill, a breast surgeon who would give me the results of the breast biopsy that had been done a week or so ago.

To say I was terrified was an understatement. Dr. Quill entered the room and didn't beat around the bush; he looked at me and said, "Well, you are positive for breast cancer."

In my heart, I had already known what the biopsy results would show.

Before the biopsy, I had a diagnostic mammogram, followed by an ultrasound. After the mammogram, the kind technician walked me to a waiting area for a doctor to examine the pics. She started to walk away but turned and gave me a hug and said, "It's gonna be okay." At that moment, I knew. But I was so thankful for that hug.

So, when Dr. Quill said those words to me, they were just confirmation. He sat down on a stool beside me and asked, "Are you ready to fight?" Oh, hell yeah, I was! He said that he and the rest of my team of doctors would use every weapon available to fight this thing. 

I can't remember much from the next few hours after that visit with Dr. Quill, but I do remember walking around my backyard later in the evening and chatting with God. Begging might be a more accurate description of what was happening.

I remember being heartbroken over having to tell my kids. Conor was a Junior in High School, and his homecoming dance was that weekend. I remember being adamant about waiting until after homecoming to tell him.

The rest of my kids were scattered about the country, so it wasn't like I could sit them all down and tell them this news. 

Somehow, I got through breaking the news to my kids and other family members and then, finally, my friends. It was tough. Really tough. 

Today is October 21, 2023. Exactly 7 years ago today, I had my first chemo treatment. The first punch in that fight. This isn't necessarily something I want to celebrate, but I am celebrating the fact that 7 years later I am still here. Still fighting, but still here and feeling pretty darn good most of the time!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

As you probably know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 

You may or may not know I also received my breast cancer diagnosis in October. It was October 3, 2016. Seven years ago?!

I was planning to write a post sharing more about that day, but I could not find the right words to describe what I was feeling that day or in the days following that diagnosis. 

That was such an important and emotional time for me, and I don't want to post something just for the sake of posting. I've had a very hectic few days, and my brain is somewhat scattered right now, so I will wait until sometime next week to share more on the subject.

In the meantime, if you still need to get a mammogram this year, please go online or call your doctor's office to schedule one.

SCAN RESULTS

Since I mentioned in my last post that I was waiting on the results of some cancer-related scans, I thought I should let Y'all know the results!

As soon as I woke up on the day the results were due, I checked the patient portal for the Nuclear Bone Scan results. I was relieved that they were good since cancer often spreads to the bone.

I received the report for my abdomen and pelvis CT scan shortly after. Although there were a few things I didn't fully understand, I was relieved to see the phrase "No evidence of metastasis."

My chest CT scan results were the only ones not posted. I checked the portal every 15 minutes, wondering why they weren't there. Was something terrible showing up?

Earlier, breathing exercises and prayers helped, but I was still super-stressed. I tried stress-relieving methods from my previous post, did chores, lifted weights, and read, but none of those things kept me from wanting to know why the other scan results weren't on the patient portal.

I finally figured it was time to go ahead and utilize the all-time most effective stress relief supplement..................

SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO REDUCE ANXIETY AND MAKE YOU HAPPY!

ICE CREAM REALLY CAN HELP WITH ANXIETY!

I think most of us can agree that ice cream is a great comfort food. But did you know there is a reason (besides the fact that ice cream just tastes amazing) that we tend to go to ice cream when we are sad or stressed?

Ice cream contains milk and L-tryptophan, an amino acid that helps reduce the nervous system's activity, making it a natural tranquilizer that can help reduce anxiety! It also stimulates the production of thrombospondin, which reduces stress and increases the hormones in your brain that translate to happiness! I'm not an expert nutritionist, but I have researched the subject extensively!

FINALLY

After feeling anxious for hours and eating a bowl of ice cream, I called my doctor's office to ask why I couldn't access my CT scan results. A nurse was able to access them and assured me that everything was fine. The line that said, "No evidence of metastasis within the chest, abdomen, or pelvis," was what I had been waiting and praying for.

Although I am relieved and thankful for the good news, the wait was incredibly stressful! Thank God for ice cream!!

CANCER AND ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

Sitting here at 1:30 am after tossing, turning, and trying to sleep, I thought I would write about something that affects so many cancer patients and survivors.....

FEAR OF CANCER RECURRENCE OR PROGRESSION

I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2016. After chemo, surgery, and radiation, my scans looked good. Then in the fall of 2020, a spot under my arm in a lymph node tested positive for cancer, and once again, I began treatments. 

I am now in remission, but I know my cancer can become active again.

Just because our cancer treatments have ended, and perhaps we are in remission or show no signs of cancer, that doesn't mean our fears magically disappear.

Even though I don't spend every moment or even every day worrying about a recurrence, the fear can just rear its ugly head at any time. 

Whenever I get a new ache or pain, I immediately wonder if it's cancer. Even though logically, I know it's most likely not, I still have that irrational fear. Headache? Maybe it's a brain tumor? Stomach ache? I find myself Googling "Stomach Cancer." 

TRIGGERS

Everything can be going along just fine, and something will happen to trigger my fear. Sometimes it can be a commercial on TV for cancer medication. Or sometimes, we will be watching a TV show, and someone dies from cancer. If they had breast cancer, it can be especially upsetting. A big trigger for those out-of-control fears and emotions is cancer-related scans.

SCANXIETY

Right now, I'm waiting for the results of the CT and bone scans I had done on Monday, and of course... I'm stressed and full of scanxiety, which I've discussed before. 

LEARN SOME EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES

Just as cancer treatment isn't one size fits all, neither are the methods that work for dealing with stress and anxiety issues. 

I'm not gonna lie...It's an ongoing struggle to keep my brain from going to dark places.

Since I can't control the results of those scans or whether my cancer returns, I try to focus on other things-things that make me feel good and distract me from the worry. Like getting plenty of rest, laughing with friends on the phone, going for walks, talking to family members, and loving on my sweet pup-Brady! TV is also a great distraction for me.

If you are experiencing cancer-related anxiety yourself, here are some other suggestions for things that might also help:

• Try starting a gratitude journal or a blog.
• Meditation, prayer, or other spiritual support might be helpful.
• Mindfulness activities such as yoga might help with focus and anxiety levels.
• Exercise such as walking or simply playing music and moving to the rhythm can be relaxing and fun. 
• Get help through support groups or counseling.
• Talk to your doctor about using anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds.
• Volunteering and helping others can give a sense of meaning and help turn attention to others. 

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I try to keep a positive attitude, but it's not always possible.

So many articles on cancer suggest that a positive attitude can stop cancer from growing or returning. However, cancer isn't caused by a person's negative attitude, nor is it made worse by our thoughts. I refuse to beat myself up or let people make me feel guilty when I feel sad, angry, anxious, or scared.

I guess what it all boils down to is that we shouldn't let anyone else tell us how to feel or deal with our feelings regarding OUR cancer journey.

We all need our friends and loved ones to love and support us through our journey, but we don't need them to think they know best how we should handle our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. 

If you are in the middle of your own cancer journey, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about my journey. As for you and your personal journey, I would say that I wish you the best, and.....

YOU, DO YOU! 

PS. If I am rambling more than usual in this post, please remember that I'm super stressed while waiting for my scan results AND that it's the middle of the night! 

New England Visit

TRIP TO NEW ENGLAND

Here it is, the end of June, and I am just getting around to posting about our exciting adventure from the middle of May!

The Robbins family had been unable to travel for a while due to my cancer treatments and weakened immune system. The pandemic further complicated things. But I'm thrilled to say that we finally managed to make our way to Boston to visit our son Nick and to meet his wonderful girlfriend, Alison!

Alison, Pam, Nick, Conor, Ray

Alison's charm had won us over even before we had the opportunity to meet her in person. We adored her even before our face-to-face encounter! And now we love her even more! 

FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY

On the first night of our visit, we got to meet Nick's dear friends, Jen and Yannick. It was instantly evident that they were not just Nick's friends but his extended family in New England. We had so much fun, and we loved them both!

We had a wonderful time at The Irish Cottage Restaurant and Pub, enjoying a variety of scrumptious dishes, strong drinks, and delightful conversation!

Ray, Jen, Yannick

And then there was ice cream.......

NEWBURYPORT, MA

Agave Mexican Bistro

We had heard about the delicious food at Agave Mexican Bistro, and the food and drinks did not disappoint! And I might have overindulged in both!

SEA LEVEL OYSTER BAR

Sea Level Oyster Bar was another great restaurant we visited in Newburyport.

I was so excited to finally enjoy some fresh seafood again! Sea Level did not disappoint....my fried scallops were delicious! 

                             

And then there was the time we met that weird British guy.......

MEET THE PARENTS

On Saturday, we had the pleasure of visiting Alison's parents' lovely home for a delightful meal and fantastic company!

Kathy, Katie, Tom, Conor, Ray, Pam

They welcomed us warmly and made us feel at home from the moment we arrived. 

Nick's friends, Alex and Tom, were in town for the day, and we were happy to have them join us!

Alex, Tom, Alison, Nick, and Alison's adorable nephew-Vincent.

BEACH DAY WITH KATHY

On a day when Nick and Alison were busy with work, Kathy kindly offered to drive us up the coast to view some of the beautiful beaches. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the ocean again after such a long time.

Kathy was a great companion and an excellent tour guide!

                                             

                        

We spotted a beautiful solitary flower flourishing amidst the rocky terrain. Conor kindly ventured down to snap a photo for me.

           

We stopped at a lovely roadside place for ice cream on our way back to Merrimac! I didn't get photos of the ice cream, but I did get some cute shots of Kathy and Conor.        

  

                                                   

BOSTON IN THE SPRINGTIME

There is nothing quite like Boston on a nice spring day!

                                                      

Food and drinks at The Black Rose. 

Since we would be leaving early the next morning, Alison's sister Katie and Katie's handsome son Marty stopped by Nick and Alison's to say goodbye after Marty's baseball game. I wanted to make sure to share a photo of them all - Katie's son Marty is absolutely adorable! 

        

Our trip was beyond amazing! Seeing Nick again and meeting Alison and her family filled my heart with joy!

The welcome we received was heartwarming. There are so many more memories to share, but this post is already pretty long, so I will save those for another time!

I can't wait for our next visit!

6-YEAR MASTECTOMY ANNIVERSARY

Six years ago today, I had a mastectomy. 

I remember being so nervous but, at the same time, happy that we were finally going to get this thing done. I felt like it had been so long since my diagnosis and learning that I would need surgery. 

I was diagnosed on October 3, 2016, and here it was April 7, 2017. It had been determined that I would receive chemotherapy to shrink the tumors before surgery. And it worked. The tumors shrank quite a lot. But now I had finished chemo and just wanted the cancerous boob GONE!

My right breast was removed, along with 11 lymph nodes. I was so afraid to think about what was underneath those bandages.

I left the hospital a few hours after my surgery. I was shocked and a little worried about going home so soon after surgery, but I didn't argue with them.

Some things are a bit blurry when I reflect on that day, but I remember the ride home from the hospital. I remember sitting in the front seat and zoning out while Ray was driving, and all of a sudden, I saw an ice cream sign. I literally yelled, "Ray, STOP! I NEED ice cream! We had already passed the entrance into the parking lot of the ice cream place, but Ray somehow managed a quick U-turn, and the next thing I knew, we were sitting there, parked in front of an ice cream shop I had never even noticed before today, and Ray was asking me what kind of ice cream I wanted!

It's funny the things you remember sometimes. First, of course, I remember the ice cream! But much more importantly, I remember my husband caring for me, nursing me, and, most of all, loving me through those rough days. 

I can't say that every day of these past six years since my surgery has been easy, but I can say without a doubt that I am thankful for each and every one of them. 

So yes, life is a blessing. 

And being surrounded by loved ones while going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment, or any other crisis, is an immeasurable blessing. 

I feel so sad when I think about anyone going through such a time of distress and fear without the love and support of friends and family. 

Many of my family members and friends live out of state, but I know they are always a phone call away when I need them, and I could not have made it through these past few years without them!

I am blessed.